All partial kidding aside (it totally happened), there is so much information out there on the wedding registry, it can get a bit overwhelming. Yet, none of the lists or rule guides completely covered me. There wasn't one tailored specifically to my situation. You guessed it, I made my own rules. And I am sharing.
1. Etiquette. Don't assume people are going to give you gifts. The wedding is about celebrating your life with your future spouse. Gift giving is just a nice gesture, but shouldn't be expected. That being said, don't put your registry information in your invitations. I've read this everywhere, so it must be true.
2. To go along with #1, it is perfectly fine for your mother and future mother-in-law to tell anyone who asked where you are registered (feel free to insert "father" in any place that "mother" was, you never know who's the talker). It is also fine to include registry cards in your shower invitation, since the shower is about showering the couple with gifts for the future, and you aren't throwing that yourself anyway. If it's tasteful, the wedding website can also play host to your registry list.
3. There are tons of registry checklists on the internet. I suggest that you take a few of the lists, and create your own. If you search registry checklist on Pinterest, many good ones come up. The places you register will have their own lists. Making your own list doesn't take very much time, and will help you determine what is most important to you. For me, having someone buy me a bathroom scale seemed distasteful (because having pie pans is so much more important than a scale...), therefore it didn't make the list. I already love my mixer, so that didn't need to be on the list. And I desperately need a pizza stone and secretly want a bundt pan, but many lists did not include these as items. Update: Here's an example of my list. Please note, our list is only going to vaguely resemble your list.
4. Gifts should range in price from $5 to $500. If someone gets you a set of fancy mixing bowls, and still have $5 more they want to spend, they could add in a whisk to round out their gift. You shouldn't expect people to spend a certain amount on you (see first point above), so giving a variety of options takes a lot of the pressure off the giver.
5. Register with at least two but no more than three places. You want options, but don't want to spread yourself too thin. Think places that would be easily accessible to most of your guest, with many storefront locations as well as a website. Who knows how your guests feel most comfortable shopping? We decided to register at two places. It just made more sense from an organizational standpoint, we had a blast shopping at these two places, and too many more registries might have taken us off the deep end.
6. When you are registering, think about the longevity and usability of the items on your list. You want these items to last, not just by being durable, but also to appeal to your style now and twenty years from now. This being said, The Man and I didn't register for everyday china or fancy duvet covers or any item that we weren't entirely sold on. My tastes change just too frequently to commit to everyday china or bedding for life. We don't even have a house yet, so who knows what will match, and how often I will change my mind. And if you aren't sure, wait until you are.
7. Read reviews. Not just the ones on the website where you are registering for the items, but view consumer reports or the best "blenders" of 2013/2014. Just because the picture looks awesome and the three people who have had the item for three weeks says it chops in half the time of their 35 year old blender, doesn't mean it's the right one for you. The gift-givers are going to assume that you've already done your homework, and the item they are buying is the absolute best item for you. Make them right.
8. You are going to have to include some crystal and silver items on your list, no matter how old-fashioned you think they are. People like to give gifts like this, and you will be happy to have that crystal vase whenever you have stuffy, important people over to your house a few years from now. Just trust me.
9. There are things that you shouldn't register for. You're smart, so a lot of these don't need to be said. Just make sure you don't choose are things that are only for or appeal to one half of the couple. This isn't a Christmas list, it's a list of items that will help build your life together. Things like video games, food, and trips to the Opera should not be on your registry list, unless you are a hardcore gamer couple, and a large chunk of your guests share your enthusiasm. Or that meal and Opera trip is part of your honeymoon.
10. Speaking of honeymoon, there are many websites out there that provide honeymoon registries. I think it's a really interesting idea, and could be awesome if done right. (Here's an article I found that talks whether or not honeymoon registries are tacky). The Man and I decided that a honeymoon registry wasn't right for our new family, but mostly because we are young and just starting out. But you should consider it as an option.
11. Be sure to utilize the freebies that most registries offer. You get FREE STUFF because other people purchased items on your registry. Most registries offer a purchasing discount for the leftover things on your list after the wedding. This definitely helps in finishing off your china patterns, or getting the last few items that you think you NEED for your life together. (All you need is love!)
12. Have fun with it. It's super interesting to find out what you and your significant other both like. And the dreaming... yeah, it's pretty amazing. Plus, you get to run (carefully) around with a laser tag gun while people pour you mocktails. And remember, it's not about the things, it's about the time you spend with your loved ones.
This is the start of your married life. Love it.
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